Firstly, imagine all of your favourite Rare characters coming together to pump seven bells of faeces out of one another. Let’s just make a list (Get a bib at the ready, you will be drooling!) according to each series:
- Mumbo Jumbo
Diddy Kong Racing
- Joanna Dark
Conker’s Bad Fur Day
- Gregg the Grim Reaper
- Jet Man
- Xbox Live Avatar
- Cooper Chance
- Juno, Vela & Lupus
Having listed 22 characters, imagine their traditional moves (no blocks or vehicles, thankfully, in this one Kazooie!). Some of the characters don’t have traditional moves such as Timber or Pipsy, but leave that to Rare. Imagine them wrestling each other, with cool special powers such as the Jinjonator, or a Humba Wumba spell. Maybe Joanna Dark acquires a lovely Laptop gun to help her tear the place up, or perhaps a beer keg forces everyone drunk while Conker slaps the face of Cooper and Kameo.
That brings us on to the stages. Where would you like to beat Timber or Grunty to a pulp? Here are five that I’ve thought of:
- Remember that first moment of Perfect Dark on the N64? Imagine being back there only this time Pipsy has just walloped Joanna into the midnight sky?
- That awesome music everyone loves, that familiar home of Banjo. Duking it out on the mountain, with everyone fighting for such limited space and a small bridge, it seems hard not to love this.
- We couldn’t visit it in Nut’s and Bolts, but there is no excuse not to have Timber painted onto the ceiling after opening a fresh can of ‘whoop ass.’
Jetpack Refuelled Stage
- We got our latest access to this little piece of genius on Xbox Live Arcade and surprisingly in Donkey Kong 64, but could Cranky ever imagine the sorts of modern day ass kickings that might be crowded onto this arcade classic? Yeah we didn’t think so either.
Dam (From Goldeneye 007)
- Okay. So Rare can’t use James Bond due to all of the licensing and rights blah blah blah, but they can create their own recreation of the Dam right? I Guess 007 might not be the only person leaving the edge of the Dam in style! (Hope you took your bungee rope, Mumbo!)
At the minute we can only dream. After the success Nintendo has had, it wouldn’t be the first time Rare have tried and succeeded at out performing them. All your favourite Rare characters on classic Rare stages, with amazing items and crazy random factors adding more mayhem to the mix. But hey, it wouldn’t be a Rare game if it was just the same would it? It’d be great, but what about a cross-over gam?. What if Tooty gets kidnapped in a haunted house, while Banjo and Kazooie, their friends and Cooper help to free Tooty to safety? Maybe Conker gets drunk again and wakes up in Spiral Mountain (maybe even free from a hangover?). We will have to wait and see! What do you think of the possibility of a Super Smash Bros. Rare style game?