EXCLUSIVE: The Best and Worst Mothers of Rare

Once every year, a special day-that’s today, by the way!-is set aside for humanity to celebrate their mothers and show them how much you love and care for them. That’s something you should be doing everyday, but it’s okay to do things a bit more extravagantly at least once per year. Today we’re going to take a look at some of the mothers that have graced a few of Rare’s games throughout the years.

Theena, Queen of the Enchanted Kingdom. Mother of Two.

Theena is a mother of two and the biological mother of one. Kalus, her real daughter, later betrays her and her step-sister, Kameo, out of jealousy of Kameo being the future heiress to the throne. Theena is captured and held prisoner by the evil troll king, Thorn. She is later rescued by Kameo and aids her in her quest.

Of course, the entire catastrophe of the events of Kameo: Elements of Power could have been avoided had Theena been a better mother. It was her favoritism toward her step-daughter that filled Kalus full of jealous rage, thus ultimately leading to Thorn’s revival!

Mother Rating: POOR.

Mrs. Bottles the Mole. Mother of Two.

Mrs. Bottles has only two children,  a daughter namedGoggles and a son named Speccy. She keeps them mostly confined to their home where they are seen playing around the house. Goggles even aids Banjo-Kazooie in their quest by giving them the Amaze O’ Gaze Goggles, which allows them to zoom in and out in first-person view. Goggles’ knowledge in technology proves that Mrs. Bottles is a good mother that teaches her children well. Later in life, she takes her two children and leaves her husband, Bottles, due to the frustration and trauma surrounding his death and resurrection.

Mother Rating: EXCELLENT.

The Pinatas. Mother of… How ever many you like!

Just about every single Pinata in the Viva Pinata games can serve as mother. Meet the romance requirements, romance them, and then a special egg will be delivered by Starkos. There is no limit to how many children the Pinatas can have, so romance them continuously if you so desire! How you ultimately treat them, however, determines your skills of being mother. Treat them kindly and with protection and heal them when they are sick, because other Pinata and even Professor Pester himself will put your parenting skills to the test!

Mother Rating: VARIES.

Mrs. Boggy. Mother of Three.

Mrs. Boggy… She has three children–Soggy, Moggy and Groggy–and couldn’t have possibly raised them any worse. In Banjo-Kazooie, she is nowhere to be found, thus leaving her poor husband, Boggy the bear, in Freezeezy Peak all alone (choking on a Jiggy, mind you!) while her children are in an igloo crying because they have no gifts for Christmas. This leaves her motherly duties up to Banjo-Kazooie to obtain and deliver their Christmas gifts themselves.

In Banjo-Tooie, things weren’t much better. Mrs. Boggy’s children refuse to leave Witchyworld, once again leaving her plight in the hands of Banjo and Kazooie. When they find Moggy, he is extremely ignorant and refusing to leave until the bear and bird are forced to hit him, causing him to run off to Mrs. Boggy in tears. He can even be found later on jumping on his parents’ bed! Soggy, when found, is willing to leave, but only after she has been fed some fries from Salty Joe’s. Groggy couldn’t be any worse for wear. He is extremely overweight and also refuses to leave until he has had a burger from Big Al’s, despite his hefty appearance. After eating, he claims to be too bloated to move, thus Banjo has to carry his overly obese body to his mother. Mrs. Boggy is so upset about him eating the burger, that she commences to beating him with her purse until he finally leaves for home.

Her children are spoiled, she is abusive and one of her children is on the verge of dying at a very young age due to being so poorly overweight… Mrs. Boggy is a horrible mother and is definitely the worse mother to ever grace any of Rare’s titles.

Mother Rating: HORRIBLE.

That’s our special Mother’s Day article of 2012! If there was any mothers that I missed or you just want to bash Mrs. Bottle and her bad parenting skills, sounds off below in the comments.