“Bear and bird must die! Bear and bird must die!” came the repeated chants of the hundreds of Collywobbles, Toppers, and the newly recruited Bawls. They were all marching toward the bear and bird duo’s little blue home led by two massive CollyToppers. This time they were bound and determined to defeat the duet and not fall victim to becoming a meal like those veggies that came before them…

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“F-Furball! W-Why is the h-house s-shaking?” Kazooie asked Banjo, her red feathers getting ruffled. The blue home was packed this day with several of Banjo, Kazooie, and Tooty’s friends: Bottles the Mole, Mumbo Jumbo the Shaman, Humba Wumba the Witch Doctor, and Klungo, ex-minion of the evil witch Gruntilda Winkybunion. They all had gathered there for the weekly poker game, but none of them had expected the nightmare that was awaiting them outside.

“I don’t know Kazooie. Whatever was causing the shaking seems to have stopped now,” replied Banjo. He layed his cards to rest and excused himself from the table so that he could find out for certain. He strolled over to the nearest windo, pulled aside the bright blue curtains, and peered outside. His eyes nearly popped from their sockets when he saw the veggies standing at attention a couple of hundred feet from his home.

Gulp! There’s an army of veggies outside prepared to attack!” Banjo cried nervously. All eyes immediately fell on Mumbo, who silently began creeping his way toward the door.

“Veggies Mumbo?! Didn’t you learn your lesson the last time?!” squawked Kazooie, insisting upon an answer. Mumbo halted his trek for the exit and began making his way back to the table, his head hanging low.

“Mumbo can’t help it. Has very strong passion for vegetables. Hopes to be best gardener in all of Spiral Mountain,” Mumbo explained.

“Mumbo isss bessst at creating evil veggiesss,” said Klungo. And indeed, he was right. Every time the shaman made an attempt at gardening, he always ended up causing vegging havoc.

“Well we’re not getting anywhere just sitting here. Let’s go kick us some veggie booty!” Kazooie yelled excitedly, eager to rid Spiral Mountain fo the evil veggies once again. Kazooie climbed into Banjo’s backpack and they were the first to go outside. All of the rest followed their lead, except for Tooty, Bottles, and, of course, Roysten.

Once outside, the veggies’ chants began anew as did their marching. Closer and closer they were becoming to their prey, who were still preparing themselves for battle.

Humba Wumba had created one of the transformation pools for Banjo and Kazooie to submerge themselves into. Doing so transformed Kazooie into her fire-breathing dragon form. Klungo had several potions at his disposal–each with different abilities–and Mumbo Jumbo has his staff ready to zap the veggies with electricity. Neither of the five had to wait for long.

Before they knew it, the army of veggies were upon them attempting to deliver blows left and right. The bear and bird duo had managed to somehow avoid all attempts with their nimble dodges while Klungo, with his bulky body, seemed to not miss a single one! Fortunately for him, his body consisted of mostly pure muscle that strengthened his body to absorb the attacks with no effect. Mumbo and Humba, who were battling side-by-side, were too busy to abandon their defensive stance of ducking, sidestepping, and even jumping the veggies’ onslaught of unending attacks to think of launching an attack of their own.
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Things weren’t looking good for the quintet of fighters who couldn’t pull off a single strike of their own. There were just too many veggies and already they were beginning to feel exhausted. And then, to make matters worse, the two CollyToppers that had remained at the back of the army watching their fellow minions battle, entered the fray.

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Back inside Banjo’s home, Bottles was becoming rather annoyed at Tooty and Roysten. They just wouldn’t shut up! They continued to talk and talk and talk until Bottles just couldn’t take it anymore. Outraged by their unceasing blabbering, he suddenly transformed into his devilish form and burst through the front door.

“Gulp! Looks like this is the end everyone…” Banjo stated sadly and placed his arm around Kazooie’s shoulders. The five of them were trapped in the middle of a veggie circle with both CollyToppers on either side.

“Squaaw! Oh no you don’t Banjo! If we’re going down, then we’re going down fighting!” squawked Kazooie and then let loose over a dozen Fire Eggs. Many of the veggies were set aflame, but it was not use. There were far too many and not enough time. The end had come.

Or so they thought. An unexpected event happened then that none of them could ever have anticipated. Devil Bottles came charging through the door, extremely furious. And that fury was unleashed upon the veggies with an onslaught of deadly lightning bolts that burned one of the CollyToppers first and foremost to a crisp. That caused panic to sore through veggies’ hopes of winning which opened up the way for the others to begin a true offensive attack.

The bear and bird duo Rat-a-tat-rapped and Claw Swiped their way through the ranks, dropping veggies left and right; Mumbo and Humba used their magical abilities to transform the veggies into lifeless delicious entrees; Klungo, having swallowed a potion to become gargantuan, battled against the other CollyTopper, pounding it into oblivion with his powerful fists; and Devil Bottles continued to strike them down with a steady flow of lightning bolts. As time passed, the magical spell that gave the veggies unintentional life began to wear off, causing those veggies that hadn’t been annihilated–about a dozen Toppers and Bawls–to return to their proper positions in Mumbo’s garden.

Exhausted from such a long and exhilarating battle, Mumbo, Humba, Klungo (back to normal size), and Bottles returned to their peaceful homes. Banjo and Kazooie remained outside to see them off, and once the were gone, the duo grinned widely and started scooping up as many of the vegetable entrees as possible.

“Hurry furball before they realize all the food they left behind!” Kazooie called to Banjo as she ran toward the little blue house, wings full of entrees.

“Guh-huh! Guh-huh! Coming Kazooie!” Banjo called in reply, his arms also full of entrees. He followed Kazooie through the front door, slammed it shut and locked it tight. They were going to have a fine meal tonight.

THE END

By Daniel Durock

Actor. Writer. Gamer

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