EXCLUSIVE: Seven Reasons Joanna Dark Should Be Your Valentine

7. She’s… Kinda Hot


The picture says it all…

6. She Knows How to Handle A Gun


Laptop Guns, Sniper Rifles, Super Dragons, Falcons, Rocket Launchers… Is there any weapon she can’t wield? When she’s up against the likes of dataDyne and even hostile aliens, it’s a necessity to have the knowledge of all sorts of fire power needed to get the job done. So if you ever find yourself in a very precarious situation, then Joanna could likely save your ass! Plus, you know what they say about women who know how to handle a gun, right? Right?!

5.She’s Not Afraid Of Those Skedar Scum


While dataDyne is a significant threat to the world, nothing is greater than hostile aliens hellbent on global destruction. The dreadful and outright horrendous Skedar want just that and it’s up to Joanna Dark to save the day. So any woman who is brave enough to go head-to-head with those dastardly things is surely worthy of your love!

4. She Can Kick Your Ass


Joanna is quite the fighter and capable of punching, karate chopping and even disarming her adversaries when the situation calls for it. While being precautious would probably be in your best interests, it’s doesn’t hurt to know that your lady could seriously kick your ass if she wanted to. I’m just saying…

3. She Has Alien Allies


How many people do you know that has actual aliens for allies? Anyone? No? Well if Joanna Dark was your valentine, then that’s exactly what you’d have on your side. Joanna befriended the Maian race when she rescued Elvis from his death and they aided her to save the world from the evil Skedar. I don’t know about you, but I would certainly love to have a race like the Maian on my side!

2. She’s Fearless


If you’re looking for a special someone who isn’t afraid of anything, then Joanna is the girl for you. She flies jetpacks to astounding heights, travels to distant planets to battle hostile aliens, participates in dangereous gunfights against multiple adversaries alone, and even scales the tops of skyscrapers! What more could you possibly ask for?

1. She’s A Special Agent


Joanna is a Special Agent for the Carrington Institute and tackles dangereous missions across the globe all in the sake of protecting the world and maintaining peace. So if anyone ever asks what you’re woman does for a living, then you’ll quite the story to tell. But bear in mind number four on this list… you know, just in case you’re spilling the beans on something you shouldn’t be.