“AAACK! Somebody help me! AAACK!” Came a voice from the skies. Terry was both frightened and enraged. The Rocknut Tribe had kidnapped his kids while he was gone searching for food. Now he was in Spiral Mountain looking for aid from his bear and bird friends.

Banjo and Kazooie were resting atop Spiral Mountain preparing for a hard day’s work. Today they would have to collect honeycombs and patrol the area for baddies. They were just preparing to leave when they heard Terry’s voice.

“That voice sounds familiar,” proclaimed Banjo.

“Hehe! Hey, it’s Terry the snotty Terrydactyl!” Laughed Kazooie in response to Banjo’s proclamation. Terry swooped down and landed swiftly on the mountain.

“AAACK! Something terrible has happened! AAACK!” Cried Terry, incapable of controlling her emotions.

“What’s the matter, Terry?” Asked Banjo concernly.

“Yeah, what’s the matter snot boy?” Kazooie stated, mocking Terry once more.

“AAACK! The nasty Rocknuts has kidnapped poor Terry’s kids. AAACK!” Cried Terry.

“What do you expect us to do, mucoid breath?” Asked Kazooie, unconcerned about Terry’s dilemma.

 

“AAACK! Terry’s too big to go into the Rocknut Cavern. AAACK! I need you two to rescue my kids. AAACK!” Cried Terry once more, ignoring the insulting comments of Kazooie.

“Sure thing Terry,” Banjo said, eager to be able to help his friend once again.

“Just where can we find this Cavern, booger lips?” Asked Kazooie, inconsiderate of Terry’s feelings.

“AAACK! Climb on my back and I will take you to the Cavern, “ screeched Terry. So Kazooie closed herself tightly in Banjo’s backpack and Banjo climbed upon Terry’s back and off they went to Terrydactyland.

After reaching Terrydactyland, Terry dropped Banjo and Kazooie off at the entrance to Rocknut Cavern.

“AAACK! This is the main abode of the Rocknut Tribe. The Rocknuts took my kids in there. AAACK!” Cried Terry.

“Don’t worry, Terry. We’ll rescue your kids,” replied Banjo.

“Yeah, we’ll rescue them mucous face!” Stated Kazooie.

“AAACK! Please be careful! AAACK!” Yelled Terry one last time as he flew off toward home.

“Well, what are we waiting for Banjo? Let’s go rumble with some Rocknuts!”

Banjo and Kazooie entered the darkened Cavern. Along the cave walls were dimly lit torches that guided them through the Cavern. They both traveled some distance knowing not where they would find Terry’s kids. Soon they came upon a huge metallic door guarded by a single Rocknut.

“Har har har! What is bear and bird doing in Rocknut Cavern?” Said the Rocknut sternly.

“We’re looking for little Terrydactylings,” Banjo asked politely, trying not to upset the Rocknut.

“And you better tell us where they are or else!” Shouted Kazooie.

“Kazooie!!”

“Har har har! Rocknut doesn’t want trouble. Terrydactylings behind big metal door. But bear and bird won’t rescue them easily. Must first win Rocknut Rumble.”

“Then you better let us in or we’ll rumble you!”

“Har har har! Bear and bird granted access. Access to your demise.” The Rocknut then kicked a hidden switch on the Cavern wall and the metallic door opened widely. Banjo strolled into total darkness and listened as the metal doors tightly closed behind. Then in a sudden instant, bright light filled the Cavern room. Banjo and Kazooie were in a type of colosseum. Rocknuts were standing and shouting all around them. Dangling from above by a single chain were Terry’s three kids. To the far right was a humongous cage. Then from the audience came five of the most built Rocknuts. From behind Banjo and Kazooie came the single Rocknut guard. He took a bonophone from a Rocknut in the crowd and began to speak.

“Har har har! The bear and bird have come to rescue the Terrydactylings!” The crowd laughs and shouts in excitement at the Rocknut’s words.

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“Har har har! In Round One, bear and bird must defeat these five Musco Rocknuts. Let Round One begin!”

“Gulp! I don’t like the looks of this!” Cried Banjo.

The Musco Rocknuts charged at the duo. Kazooie Feathery Flapped Banjo over them with ease. The Musco Rocknuts turned around and charged at them again. This time, one was leading and the two of them were carrying two other on their shoulders to prevent the Feathery Flap.

“Gulp! What now, Kazooie?” Asked Banjo nervously as the Musco Rocknuts approached them speedily. Kazooie quickly replied with a Flap Flip rising even higher than before and once again avoiding being rammed. The Musco Rocknuts then huddled together thinking of another plan.

“How did we defeat them before Kazooie?”

“Hehehe! Short term memory Banjo? We used Clockwork Kazooie Eggs!” Replied Kazooie.

“Guh-huh! Now I remember!” Stated Banjo, dumbfounded that he had forgotten. Banjo then bent over and Kazooie fired a single Clockwork Kazooie Egg toward the Musco Rocknuts. The duo watched as the little miniature mechanical Kazooie walked in amongst the huddle and triggered itself off. There was a small explosion and bits and pieces of Rocknuts went flying into the crowd.

“Guh-huh! That wasn’t so difficult!” Cried Banjo in victory. Then the Rocknut guard returned to announce the final round.

“Har har har! The bear and bird have done well. But can they defeat Rocky Rocknut? Har har har! Open the cage!”

The humongous cage doors opened wide and out stomped the largest existing Rocknut, Rocky. With every step the ground quaked and particles of the Cavern ceiling crumbled. With a short few strides, he was standing before Banjo and Kazooie in the middle of the arena.

“HAR HAR! Foolish Eggs won’t work on me!” Shouted Rocky as he lifted a foot high into the air and brought it down heavily to squash the bear and bird. Banjo quickly rolled out of the way escaping what would have surely caused he and Kazooie’s death. Rocky then started bringing down both his arms and a single foot to raise the chances of Banjo and Kazooie’s fate. Banjo swiftly out maneuvered the Rocknut each time.

“I’m starting to get tired Kazooie. I don’t know how much longer I can go on,” said Banjo, nearly tired out.

“I have an idea Banjo! Get us behind him!” Shouted Kazooie.

Banjo then rolled beneath Rocky’s legs and ran to his backside dodging another swinging arm. Kazooie peered up and told Banjo to jump. Banjo jumped and Kazooie Rat-a-tat Rapped Rocky on the behind.

“Hehehe! That should take care of him!” Kazooie said earnestly.

“Nasty bird redden Rocky’s behind! HAAAAARRRRRRR!!”

Suddenly, the chain that held Terry’s kids snapped in to and the cage landed with a thud on the Cavern floor. Banjo and Kazooie Beak Barged the cage door releasing the Terrydactylings from their imprisonment. Afterward, the metallic doors swung open and the entire Rocknut Cavern began to collapse.

“Gulp! Let’s get out of here!” Yelled Banjo. He picked up the biggest of Terry’s kids and the others flew off toward the Cavern entrance. Banjo and Kazooie did likewise and they all made it safely out of the Cavern just as the entrance was sealed from the collapsing ceiling.

It wasn’t long before Terry was back at the Cavern to make sure that Banjo and Kazooie and his kids had escaped safely.

“AAACK! Thank you, Banjo! How could I ever repay you? AAACK!” Asked Terry.

“You could start by taking us home, Mucey!” Insulted Kazooie once again.

“Kazooie!!” Shouted Banjo once more.

“AAACK! It’s okay Banjo. Just go ahead and climb on and I’ll take you home. AAACK!” Banjo climbed upon Terry’s back and was carried home in a likewise manner as the trip to Rocknut Cavern. Terry dropped them off atop of Spiral Mountain and then flew off toward home happily with his three kids.

“Well, Banjo, at least one good thing came out of this.”

“What’s that?”

“We didn’t have to do any work! Hehehe!”

“Awww… Kazooie!”

THE END

By Daniel Durock

Actor. Writer. Gamer

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