Conga the gorilla runs through a deep forest in the Isle ’O’ Hags terribly frightened. For hours a monstrous sized Tediz has been chastening him, hoping to add yet another slave to its collection. But every time the Tediz would get near, a tree would come crashing down tripping it from its feet.
“The gorilla is smart,” it says, in its usual hoarse voice. “But I am smarter! Heh heh heh!” The Tediz veers off down a side path escaping the view of its prey. Conga halts suddenly when he no longer hears the crumpling leaves of pursuit. He looks about worriedly, unaware of the location of his enemy. Moments later, the beast appears from the trees directly in front of the startled gorilla. Without any hesitation, Conga quickly swings a powerful punch knelling the victim in its left jaw. In terrible pain, the gnarly Tediz tumbles to the ground; its jaw bone is broken.
“Y-y-you stupid a-a-ape! N-n-now you d-die!” stutters the Tediz, barely capable of speaking. In a flash, it is back on its feet raging mad and watches as Conga dashes off through the trees. The chase is on once again.
Overwhelmed with both pain and anger, the monster’s momentum and strength increases considerably. No longer does it avoid each individual tree, but rather spreads its arms open wide and runs madly knocking them all over! With each step it takes, trees crash to the ground and the earth quakes sending clusters of shattered rock into the sky. Several pieces of crumbled stone strike Conga in his backside decreasing his quickness greatly. After several more minutes of scampering rapidly through the jungle , the exhausted gorilla collides head on with the dirt of the earth. The monster Tediz smiles menacingly at its prey’s helplessness. It strides over to its fallen victim and lifts a foot high into the air prepared to squash him into nothingness.
“Hey Tediz!” comes a voice from behind the giant bear. It turns around and its eyes open wide in shock and awe when it perceives that a shotgun barrel is pointed directly toward its head. “Eat lead muth-a-buzzer!” The trigger of the shotgun is pulled and off flies the Tediz’ head. The rest of its body crumbles to the ground, blood gushing like running water from where its head once sat. “Heh heh! Got another!” says the shooter, and shifts his cigar from one side of his mouth to the other. He strolls over to the fallen gorilla and puts out a helping hand. Conga gradually grabs hold and is drawn to his feet.
“Me Conga. Conga the Gorilla!” says Conga in a deep buff voice. He pounds his mighty fists against his chest.
“Okay okay, big guy. Calm down. There’s no more danger here-” the shooter begins but is cut short when a cluster of trees topple over in the distance. From the very same direction also comes sprinting several gray squirrels in uniform, each wielding a rifle with a bayonet and bearing several visible wounds.
“King… King…” they gasp, still out of breath from their frantic run for their lives. They shift uneasily when yet another tree crashes to the earth. At that same very moment, one of the gray squirrels collapses and the shooter rushes over to catch him before he hit’s the earth. The fallen squirrel looks the shooter in the eye, grabs his hand, and places it upon the fatal wound that is engraved deep into his chest.
“Please g-get them for m-m-me…King…King…Conker…” he says and then his eyes close in eternal darkness. Conker the King lays the squirrel’s dead body on the ground and once again shifts his cigar from side of his mouth to the other. His shotgun then is brought from around his shoulder and into his furry paws, locked and loaded.
“Alright boys. Let’s get some Tediz!” says Conker fully determined to get revenge for his fallen ally. The other gray squirrels follow his lead, no fear whatsoever encompassing their thoughts or heart. This is their King. Their King Conker. For him they will face any danger no matter the threat and die for him, if need be, with no regrets.
Conga is quite admired by all that he sees. Such loyalty…such companionship…so much bravery. He decides then and there that these squirrels will not die this way. He will do what he must to save them. He had only come into this dense forest in hopes to find some more oranges. Chimpy, that little sneak, had recently stolen all of his while he was sleeping one afternoon. So Conga left his tree at Mumbo’s Mountain to come to this place. And then he saw it. An orange tree with the biggest oranges his eyes had ever seen. But unfortunately for him, and to his surprise, a massively sized Tediz claimed it as its own. Having never seen a Tediz before in all his life, Conga grew suddenly afraid and took off through the forest, thinking the monstrous bear would be pleased. But instead, he was pursued for miles and miles until finally this previously unknown shooter… this King Conker… saved his life.
Now, with more of the Tediz back and the lives of these squirrels in danger, it’s time for the gorilla to repay the favor. He pounds his mighty fists against his bulging chest and releases a powerful roar that causes several trees to creak and groan. And then he is off. Running at an incredulous speed past the squirrels and straight into the fray.
The Tediz are startled when they see the powerhouse gorilla. There are about a dozen of the massive bears, yet they all freeze in their tracks and hesitate to attack, not understanding where and how their enemies of old could have gotten such an ally among their ranks. Big mistake. With a left hook more powerful than he has ever swung before, he knells a Tediz underneath its jaw taking its head clean off. Its now dismembered body topples to the ground and the remaining eleven Tediz protest in total outrage. All at once they charge the gorilla with no other cause than to bring him death. The sound of a shotgun and another comrade going down stops their pursuit long enough for the Tediz to see several gray squirrels and one red one wielding weapons that they know can bring about their demise quite easily. So the remaining ten Tediz split-up into half: five goes after the squirrels and the other five after the gorilla. Then the battle is on once again.
KABOOM! A shotgun fires and knells a Tediz square in the chest, dropping it dead to the ground. The gray squirrel turns sharply to the right prepared to fire another shot, but is too late. A Tediz that it did not see or expect rushed from the left and crushed the unaware squirrel’s bones into pieces. The same happened to one of the gray squirrel’s comrades, but that one at least was able to remove a leg from the Tediz’ body. But even then, the Tediz acts as if it has never been injured and continues to lurk for another victim despite its pain. Its search doesn’t last long when it crosses paths with King Conker. Conker just simply switched the location of his cigar in his mouth once again and then released lead from his shotgun between the beast’s eyes.
The other three monstrous stitched bears’ eyes glow red with anger at the sight of their partners’ dead bodies and charge headlong for the remaining three squirrels. Conker and two of the gray squirrels dive out of the way just in time, saving themselves from being stomped into nothingness. Their other ally though wasn’t so fortunate. Angry now at losing another friend, Conker and his two pals fire away relentlessly until the other three Tediz’ body parts are spread throughout the forest. Then they leave, that particular battle having now been won, and rush to quickly help Conga rid the forest of the other five bears.
Conga ducks yet another punch, feeling the wind from the blow though, however, as it just barely misses his head. The gorilla then quickly releases a punch of his own into the Tediz’s now open backside, breaking its spinal cord. The other four rush to their comrads aid and Conga prepares himself for the worst. With a quick sidestep to the left he dodges a massive blow ducks in time once again as another massive punch comes for his head. He kicks one Tediz hard in the stomach relinquishing its breathing and then pulls a branch apart from a tree and shatters the beasts skull. That was just the distraction the other three need.
With incredulous speed that Conga certainly didn’t expect, the three remaining Tediz have the gorilla wrapped in their arms and delivering constant blows to his stomach. Conga fights the pain and struggles to break free, but the bears are just much too strong. But just as the gigantic gorilla thinks his fate has been sealed, a shotgun blast echoes nearby dropping one of the Tediz dead cold to the earth. The other two release Conga and laugh as he falls to the ground near to death. Their laughter is cut short though, however, when they come face-to-face with Conker, the two gray squirrels, and their shotgun barrels. KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM! Three shots ring loudly and away flies a head from each of the Tediz’ body. The battle is over.
“Okay big guy, on your feet,” says Conker the King when Conga finally reawakens. He does just as Conker tells him and stands to his feet, feeling weary from the battle he had just fought. But that weariness seems to vaporize instantly when he realizes where he is: right underneath the orange tree!
“We figured you might have been after those, tough guy. So take what you want return home. We’ve many more Tediz in alllll the land that must be taken care of,” says King Conker and motions for his remaining allies that traveled with him to this wood to follow him. Then they are gone and Conga is left alone with his oranges.
“Conga like oranges,” proclaims Conga and plucks an armful that he takes to his tree back at his home in Mumbo’s Mountain. And this time he promises himself that he’ll sleep with one open to make sure that little Chimpy doesn’t steal his oranges ever again!