“Baaaanjoooooo,” comes a spooky voice from just outside Banjo’s window. “Baaaanjoooooo. Coooooome!”
“Uh ohhhh! Whooooaaaaa! Owww!” shouts Banjo as he tumbles from bed and bumps his head against the hardwood floor. Kazooie’s head perks up from the back pack hanging on a coat rack. “What was that?! Ohhhh… hee hee” she chuckles when she sees Banjo sprawled across the floor then falls back to sleep.
Banjo shakes his head and pulls himself to his feet. He then rushes to the front door and moves outside curious to see who or what was calling him. When outside, he walks to the side of his house where the voice was coming from and sees the ghostly form of a Gruntling. “Baaaanjoooooo! Looook intooo my eyesssss. NOW!!” the ghastly Gruntling screams menacingly at the bear. Banjo immediately peers into the Gruntling’s eyes and is paralyzed by its hypnotic gaze. The Gruntling then nods his head, spreads out his cloak revealing the horror of a blood red skull, and engulfs a helpless Banjo. “Mwahahahahaha!” comes the menacing laugh of the Ghost Gruntling as he disappears into the night, taking Banjo along with him to his spooky and monstrous abode.
“Ohhhh…” yawns Kazooie as she awakens from her sleep. “Hey furface, where are you?” she calls when she sees that Banjo isn’t lying in bed snoring loudly like usual. She climbs from the pack and walks to an open cupboard to get some birdseed when a knock sounds from the door.
“Chicken legs! Open up the door! Quick!” Kazooie rushes to and opens the door and sees Bottles gasping for breath.
“What is it goggle boy?” questions the breegull.
“It’s Banjo! He’s been bear napped!” replies Bottles hesitantly.
“Bear napped eh? Hee hee.”
“This isn’t a laughing matter, Kazooie! Last night while digging a new tunnel, I saw a ghost Gruntling. At first I just dismissed it as a lost wondering spirit of one of Grunty’s old minions, until I heard Banjo’s ‘guh-huh’s’ and ‘gulps’ from under the cloak!”
“This isn’t good doughboy. Where did he take him?”
“T-T-To an expanded… Mad Monster Mansion!”
“Squaaaawk! Mad Monster Mansion?! Then that could mean…” Kazooie rushes to the rack and straps her own backpack to her back. She dashes back toward the front door, swoops up Bottles throwing him in the backpack, and takes off to Mad Monster Mansion.
A large darkened form sits in a chair appearing into the darkened sky from the uppermost window of Mad Monster Mansion.
“I sent you out on an important quest, inform me now, you passed the test?” says the cloaked figure as the ghost Gruntling walks into the room.
“Yes,” replies the Gruntling.
“Great, great, great, you’ve done quite well, you passed the mission, you didn’t fail.” The cloaked figure slowly moves away from the window and walks up to the humble servant. The figure removes the cloak from it’s head and gazes into the eyes of the Gruntling. The Gruntling servant falls to his knees and worships. “Yes. Only you do I serve… Mistress Grunty!”
Gruntilda the Witch looks down at her loyal servant and smiles menacingly. “That stupid bird will try and save the day, but we’ll never let her have her way. This mansions big, it has expanded so, we’ll leave her running to and fro. So let her come, that stupid geek, but she’ll never rescue that furry freak! Eeee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!”
“Kazo-o-o-ooooie, s-slow d-d-down!” screams Bottles from the backpack. Kazooie ignores his screams and continues dashing through the woods hurriedly to reach their destination. Bottles quickly ducks his head into the backpack just in time to dodge a low hanging branch.
“Having fun back there, bottle breath? Hee hee,” chuckles Kazooie as she climbs up the steep slope. Bottles’ feet dangles from the top of the pack as he buries his head in hoped that Kazooie doesn’t trip. Finally, minutes later, the determined breegull reaches the top of the slope. Straight ahead, a mere few feet away, stands the terrifying Mad Monster Mansion.
“Alright blubber guts, we’re here now. You can come out of hiding,” states Kazooie as she peers at the mansion. “This place is much bigger than what I remembered it to be…”
“I told you it was expanded, feather face!” shouts Bottles as he climbs from the pack and brushes himself off. “So now what are we going to do?”
“What do you think we’re going to do, fatso? We’re going to rescue Banjo from that Gruntling! Let’s go!” Kazooie picks up and tosses Bottles into the backpack once again and enters Mad Monster Mansion.
“Gulp! Where am I?” cries an awakening Banjo as he realizes he isn’t in his comfortable little bed anymore. Instead, he is locked away in one of the Mansion’s many cellars. He looks around for a moment and then sees a dark cloaked figure peering at him.
“You are in my home, where you shall stay, to serve and worship me everyday,” comes a response. Grunty then strolls over to Banjo and removes her cloak, revealing her identity to the helpless bear. Banjo stares in awe and amazement. Grunty isn’t the ugly warty old witch that Banjo remembered her as. Instead, she is slim and beautiful with shoulder length black hair that shines in the light. She wears a black shirt with a picture of the Red Skull and a matching skirt that goes just above the knees. Grunty smiles and slowly walks away to a corner of the cellar, leaving Banjo astonished and confused at her beauty.
“Yes Banjo, it is me, but I’m nothing like, you thought you’d see. Understand you silly bear, to destroy me you no longer care. You love me now, that is given, for I’m the reason you are living. In this mansion, you will forever dwell, I’ll never relieve you from this hideous spell.” Grunty struts over to Banjo and places both her hands on his shoulders and looks him in the eyes. “A feathered buddy, that once you knew, will try and kill me, to rescue you. Help to save me, for that I treasure, and I will grant you with some ultimate pleasure!” Grunty winks at Banjo and then leaves the cellar, closing and locking the door behind her.
“Which way should we go now short stuff?” The two had been wandering around the mansion for many hours now and still had not the slightest idea of where Banjo would be located.
“You know as much about this place as I do, beak head! NOTHING!!” shouts Bottles a little too loudly.
“Shut it big mouth! Do you want the ghosts to know where we are?”
“It’s too late for that now, you stupid bird, to come to my mansion was quite absurd. Banjo is mine, you can’t have him back, now let’s see you dodge, this awesome attack!” comes an echoing voice from somewhere in the mansion. Suddenly, a ball of blinding light comes swooshing straight toward Kazooie from one of the mansions dark corridors. She quickly Flutter Flaps just in time to dodge the blast of light. The lighted ball crashes into a side of the mansion, bringing down part of the ceiling. “Breee!” shouts Kazooie as she rushes for safety. Bottles holds unto her neck tightly as she flutters across one of the mansion’s many pits, leaving the crashing ceiling behind them. “Whew! That was a close one shorty!”
“Congratulations, you did well, to avoid such an awesome spell. But there’s plenty more, you needn’t worry, I’ll see you dead, end of story!”
Kazooie ignores Grunty’s tedious rhymes and continues on with her quest to rescue Banjo. Bottles climbs out of the pack deciding he is too much of a burden for Kazooie to carry around. So both continue the journey on foot.
Kazooie and Bottles travel through the mansion for sometime, continuously climbing upwards. Eventually, they both come across a huge spiral staircase that leads to the uppermost room of the mansion.
“Well little blubber, looks like this it. It’s just like that warty witch to always head to the tip top of something. So what are we waiting for? Let’s go kick some filthy hag butt!” cries Kazooie and starts up the staircase. Bottles nods in agreement and follows the brave bird. They both make it halfway up the stairway when a clan of ghosts appears out of nowhere.
“BOO! BOO! BOO!” they scream. Bottles takes off hurriedly for the top of the stairway. Kazooie trails him close behind, constantly dropping grenade eggs along the way. BAM! One clatters into a target sending it crashing down the stairs. The other two speed up continuously avoiding the blasting eggs Kazooie sets upon them. “Hee hee. Try and dodge this you ghastly goobers,” laughs Kazooie as she simultaneously releases three Ice Eggs. The eggs crack on the stairs leaving a rather slippery surface. The two remaining ghosts prepare to come to a screeching halt, but are too late. They slip and trip on the ice and go tumbling back down the stairs. Finally, a few moments later, Bottles and Kazooie reach the top.
“Looks like we made it moley…”, comments Kazooie, a bit out of breath from the chase.
“Sure did Kazooie,” replies Bottles as he looks around for where they should go next. Down a corridor on his right, the mole sees a huge steel door with an emblem of the Red Skull. “Look Kazooie! That should be the place right there!”
“Then what are we waiting for shorty? Let’s go!” replies Kazooie and walks toward the door with Bottles following closely behind. The two reach the door, swing it open wide, and walk inside.
By the window stands Grunty cloaked in her black robe revealing nothing of herself. To her right stands the terrifying Ghost Gruntling. All about the room is the emblem of the Red Skull, each peering at the breegull and mole with their evil threatening eyes. At the far back of the room is a single doorway, beside an enlightened fireplace, that leads down to the cellars. Grunty snaps her fingers and motions for her loyal minion to follow her. They both walk to the center of the room and stand face to face with Kazooie and Bottles.
“Welcome welcome, to my monstrous room, prepare to die and meet your doom. You’ve done really well, but your journey ends here, get ready to face, a terrible fear. This Gruntling here, is a mighty beast, on your flesh, he shall surely feast. So look at him now, he’s the last you’ll see, he cannot be defeated, he will protect me! Eee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!” cries Grunty as she dashes to the back of room, opens the door, and rushes to the cellars.
“Prepaaaaaaare to DIE!” shouts the Ghost Gruntling and punches Bottles hard in the jaw, rendering him unconscious. He then tries the same maneuver on Kazooie, but the lightning fast breegull is too quick and easily dodges the attack. Kazooie then flatter flips over the Gruntling and rat-a-tat-raps him in the back. “Argh!” he screams. The beast then turns around and begins continuously throwing punches. One by one Kazooie blocks them and finally counter attacks and pecks the monster in one of its eyes. Blood splatters everywhere as its eyeball splits in to and tumbles from its socket unto the floor. The Gruntling falls to his knees wreathed in pain. Kazooie takes advantage of the moment and prepares to finish him off when the Gruntling suddenly arises and fires a blast of light from his single remaining eye. The light hits its target and sends the now injured breegull crashing to the ground. “Mwahahahahahaha!” laughs the Ghost Gruntling menacingly as he strolls over to Kazooie and picks her up by the throat. He slowly begins bringing her head to his open mouth when a sudden sharp pain comes to his chest. “Ugh,” he moans as he drops Kazooie and then falls dead upon the floor. Kazooie slowly arises to her feet and sees a transformed Bottles floating over the Gruntling’s deceased body. Bottles is completely red in color, a bloodied pitchfork in his hands, and two small horns protruding from his head.
“So what’s with that get up?” questions the confused breegull.
“This is what happens when I become really angry, dimwit. I become Devil Bottles!” answers the devilish mole.
“Hee hee. Whatever suits your fancy, devil boy. Anyway, come on. We have a warty witch to take care of!” replies Kazooie. They both then head for the door Grunty exited through earlier, and follow her path down to the cellars
Bottles and Kazooie finally reach the door to the cellars after descending a long staircase for what seemed like hours. They both push open the door and enter the cellar. The cellar door immediately closes behind them and the cellar becomes enshrined with light. The pair notice instantly their friend Banjo sitting in a chair in the at the center of the room peering evilly at them. In his lap sits Grunty in all her beauty.
“Look Banjo, at who has come, right in your moment of getting some. That stupid bird has ruined it all, we were going to have a ball. But it doesn’t matter, they’re here now, and to my feet they’d better bow,” demands Grunty angrily.
“We’ll never bow to you, you dried up old hag!” replies Kazooie, eager to fight.
“You bet we won’t!” yells Devil Bottles as he twirls his pitchfork around in circles prepared to do battle.
“Do you hear that Banjo, they want to fight, we’ll destroy them both with our strength and might,” says Grunty as she stands to her feet. “Get up bear, it’s time for the test, for you to help me dispose of these pests.” Banjo stands up next to Grunty with red flames burning in his eyes. His sharp claws shoot forth from his paws. “That’s right Banjo, get yourself ready, we’ll take them out nice and steady. They’re waiting for us, let’s delay no longer, we’ll show them both who is stronger! Eeee hee hee hee hee hee hee!” shouts Grunty and demands Banjo to attack. Banjo dashes straight for Kazooie and slashes a cut in her left wing.
“Squaaaawk! Hey! What’d you do that for you hairy fool! You’re supposed to be on our side!” cries the bleeding breegull. Banjo ignores her pleas and begins slashing at her again. The fast paced bird dodges a slash, side-steps a swipe, and ducks just in time as both paws swing toward her head. The evil bear still doesn’t give in and continues to slash at her. Devil Bottles finally decides to enter the foray and slightly pokes Banjo in the back end with his pitchfork. The monstrous bear quickly turns his attention to the devilish mole and attacks. Seeing the opportunity, Kazooie *****s down, opens her mouth, and releases and Ice Egg. The Ice Egg knells its aimed target and freezes him in place.
“That foolish bear is way too dumb, served me like a useless bum. I’ll defeat you myself, down you’ll go, you can’t beat me, oh no, no, no! Eeee hee hee hee hee hee!” Lightning bolts suddenly protrude from Grunty’s hands and barely miss Kazooie by an inch. One strikes Devil Bottles in the chest but has no affect. The lightning continues to come, forcing Kazooie to run about to and fro to escape a certain death. Devil Bottles continuously tries to remain directly in front of the dashing breegull to protect her from the blasts of electricity.
“Blast you mole, you’re in the way, fall to your knees from this horrific ray!” cries the terrible witch as she spreads her arms wide releasing a devastating powerful ray. It hits Devil Bottles head on dropping him to his knees. He attempts to stand to his feet but finds he is temporarily paralyzed.
“I told you fool, did I not? My deadly ray dropped you on the spot. You’re out the way now, the bird will die, so take the chance to say good-bye!” Grunty never gives the opportunity and instead opens her mouth and shoots a fireball at Kazooie. The bird dives out the way just in time. The fireball crashes into one of the cellars walls and sets it aflame. Grunty, angry at her miss, takes a deep breath and releases yet another fireball. This one, however, is twice the size of the previous one. Kazooie’s eyes go wide as she looks for escape. She hurriedly does the only thing that may save her… hides behind the frozen Banjo! Grunty’s enlarged ball of flame hit’s the ice, unfreezing the bear from his frozen state.
“Guh-huh! What’s going on here Kazooie?” Banjo asks his partner.
“Banjo! You furry fool, you’re back! Here! Get this back pack off of me and put it on. We’ve got a rotten old prune to beat!” replies Kazooie, determined to beat the witch once again. Banjo looks around to see Grunty standing in the center of the room glaring at him evilly. Then, without hesitation, snatches the backpack from Kazooie, puts it on, and motions for her to climb inside.
“Together again, how can this be? You don’t want to whip, little ole’ me. I’ll make my escape, but will be return, to kick your butts, for that you’ll learn! Eeee hee hee hee hee hee hee!” promises Grunty and suddenly snaps her fingers. From out of nowhere appears a broomstick that she quickly jumps upon and flies through the cellar’s single window.
“That stupid warty witch got away!” yells Kazooie angrily.
“This isn’t the time to talk guys…” says Bottles weakly, returned back into his normal form and now un-paralyzed. “The mansion is on fire!” Banjo notices instantly that Bottles is right, picks him up, and hesitantly makes for the now broken through window and dives outside. He continues to run until the mansion is well out of site. Once in safety’s reach, he sets Bottles down and tells Kazooie to get out of the backpack and let Bottles inside.
“Squaaaawk! That stupid mole has already had his joyride for the day. It’s my turn!” whines the angered breegull as she climbs out and let’s Bottles climb in.
“Nice see your back to normal again Banjo,” says Bottles.
“Guh-huh! Yeah! Though I’m still not sure what happened,” replies the confused bear.
“Meh… don’t worry about it furface. That stupid witch got away, so it doesn’t really matter,” answers Kazoooie impolitely. The trio just shrug the whole situation aside and return to their peaceful home in Spiral Mountain.